Kelly Olynyk suspended one game for refusal to cut his hair

The NBA has suspended Celtics forward one game after the big man refused to cut his hair. Apparently the league and the Celtics have been negotiating this hairy infraction for a few months now and the league gave Olynyk until the the end of March to at least get a trim. Olynyk had agreed to it, but then backed out when the Gonzaga Bulldogs marched to the Final 4. Olynyk says that the Bulldogs have always drawn strength from his hair and would feel any loss this weekend would be on his shoulders.

The reason for the NBA demanding a trim isn't 100% known, but opposing players have been complaining that Olynyk draws extra fouls when they accidentally touch his hair and it's too abundant to miss. There were also complaints about the look in general. The most shocking allegation was that two Celtics teammates actually complained to the league through Celtics ownership that they couldn't stand the look any more with one anonymous Celtic having been quoted, "Kelly would actually be a pretty good looking guy if he just got rid of that mop. When you see Jonas Jerebko and his glorious hair next to Kelly, it even makes him look worse if that's even possible. We're not asking him to all of a sudden have Jonas hair. We'd gladly settle for a [Brian] Scalabrine haircut."

Olynyk will serve the suspension during tonight's April 1st game. Of course this is April 1st, the Celtics aren't even playing tonight, and this whole story is preposterous. April Fool's.