Tanner Ainge loses election, enough with the Ainge hate!
Danny Ainge’s son, Tanner, lost the GOP special-election primary in Utah on Wednesday, despite getting loads of support from his father throughout the offseason. The Celtics’ GM has been straight politicking for the last few months. He initially hosted a big-wig, fancy golf-club fundraiser, where the cheapest seat was a cool thousand dollars. Some prominent names were in attendance, one in particular being former MVP and championship ring owner, Steve Young.
We’ve seen this strategy before from Ainge: having his
famous friends show face to impress his suitors. The thing is, he’s not in
Title Town anymore, where athletes have a major influence on every-day life.
He’s in the Beehive State, where sports take a back seat to focused spirituality. As the frat kids nowadays say: work hard, pray harder.
Danny also attended various town hall meetings with his son,
introduced him at a few events, and even
put himself on display for the cause, but we musn’t forget how Danny is viewed
around the country: he is hated! And the disdain has only escalated in Utah
since the recent Gordon Hayward heist.
So through all of his efforts, he actually hurt his son’s
cause. Nowadays, when people hear the
name ‘Ainge,' especially in that particular state, they light their torches, grab
their pitchforks, and begin to assemble in the town square.I can’t say that I’m surprised that Ainge didn’t get the W, because that name has been hated around the country since young Daniel was just a teenager, which exposes a ruthless truth about Americans: we regularly, full-on hate kids. Are we a country of degenerates? Why would anybody hate an immature Danny Ainge, or any other student who still lives at home with mom and dad? Well, it’s the same reason why we hate every Duke basketball that comes through year after year: they are really good at what they do, they do it with ease, and they have seemingly never had to work hard to get to where they are. It’s easy to hate the best, and Ainge has been the best at everything that matters since he was just a lad.
In high school he was a three-sport All-American and lead his basketball team to back-to-back Oregon State titles. He then went on to play ball at BYU, where he continued his dominance. He won the Wooden Award, aka MVP of the nation, broke BYU’s scoring record before the three-point line came into effect (damn you, Jimmer Fredette), and lead his Brothers to a deep run in March, the high moment being a dangling, buzzer-beater finish against number two-seeded Notre Dame.Ainge's son loses Utah primary election https://t.co/2WE91cEn6N pic.twitter.com/2kU8gfxBZo— theScore NBA (@theScoreNBA) August 16, 2017
To add to the success-driven hate against him, Danny has also always had that same bratty, scrunched up face that he had while playing
in the NBA. Whenever a call went against him, he didn’t hide his displeasure.
Instead, he yelled and screamed and jumped up and down in defiance. That’s not
the best look to have on national TV. His mother commented on his look when she said (via Michael R.
Walker, BYU Magazine),
All my boys are very facial. . .and it has gotten them in trouble from time to time.
I think we’ve all witnessed a time or two when Danny and his mug have gotten him into trouble. He’s just got that Toby Flenderson face that you want to smash.
How
pissed would you be if someone like that came through today? Even if you didn’t
mind the kid at first, eventually he’d be all over ESPN. Every morning on
Sports Center there’d be another Danny Ainge story stuffed down your throat.
He even frustrated NBA GMs, especially because Ainge’s three year deal with Toronto
included a clause that restricted him from playing basketball while he was
under contract. The best collegiate basketball player in the nation wasn’t going to
play basketball. Can you believe this
guy!? Red Auerbach even chimed in when he said (via David Schoenfield, ESPN),
How can the kid play baseball? He's in the wrong sport. He can make a million dollars playing basketball and he's going to play baseball. What a waste. What a waste . . .
Ainge
continued to peeve front offices, because, get this, in 1981, while still under
contract with the Blue Jays, which still included the clause that disallowed him from playing basketball, the Celtics drafted Danny, and all of a sudden, he
decided that he actually didn’t want to play baseball. He wanted to void his
contract and begin to play basketball in the pros.
It was truly
a genius move to get around the strict no-paying-students NCAA rule. He duped the entire system by avoiding college baseball and going straight to the pros, but
needless to say, the Blue Jay’s President, Peter Bavasi, was pissed. He took
the Celtics to court over the contract, and when he testified, he compared what
Ainge was doing to (via Anthony Cotton, Sports Illustrated):
an ailing wife being left behind by her husband for some blonde floozy from Boston.
And
after the jury ruled in favor of the Blue Jays, Bavasi lit a cigar, mocking Auerbach, and said (via Anthony Cotton, Sports
Illustrated),
There's one minute to go and we're 20 points ahead. As far as I'm concerned, Danny Ainge is a member of the Toronto Blue Jays, and until I'm absolutely convinced he's not, I'm not speaking to Auerbach or anyone else in their organization.
Yikes! Bitter much? Not a very sportsmanlike response.
Ainge
eventually arrived at the Garden and began biting heads off in the NBA, like
the time he danced with Tree Rollins or when he shoved Sedale Threatt. Even in
his post-Celtics days, he continued being a menace to the Association. He infamously
threw the ball off of some guys face, and almost scuffled with the GOAT in ’93.
The
mass-hate continued to fester and rot until Danny Ainge was asking the whole
country to tell him how his ass taste. But
like any great player, he loved the hate. We’ve heard him say things like this
time and time again (via Michael R. Walker, BYU Magazine),
One of the greatest compliments I received in my career was when crowds booed me on the road. People aren’t booing you if you’re no good. There’s nothing better than being on the road and making a shot and just really making the opposing crowd angry. That’s the ultimate, that’s the peak of playing in sports.
When
groupies harassed him, he smiled, and even joined in on the fun. He once saw some fans in Detroit wearing “I Hate Danny Ainge” shirts, and instead of letting it rattle him, he went up to the trolls, asked if he could have
one, and then wore it for the entirety of warm-ups.
Not
only is Danny better than you at sports, but he is also a better person than
you. The guy is straight-edge as fuck, and always has been. He’s your
quintessential church boy. There’s never been a drop of booze in his system,
he’s never dabbled with drugs, and he's only had sex with one woman: his current wife, who he married during his sophomore year of college. Soon after, the two started making babies. I could barely figure out the bus system when I was in college, let alone raise a family. When the
Cs were raising banners and the boys were spraying champagne, Danny was sipping orange soda. He
is better than we are! It’s so infuriating!
He’s Tim Tebow before Tim Tebow had risen.
And
now as a GM, the country continues to hate him because of his genius basketball
mind and hypnotic powers that put opposing GM’s into trances of giving. He
keeps sneaking into their locker rooms and stealing their best players. Those young GMs are playing checkers. Danny is playing chess.
And
for some odd reason, Boston fans get mad at him every February for not pulling
the trigger on idiotic hypothetical trades. Bostonians would rather lose
valuable assets, just for the rush of having a new player in green. Last year
it was Bogut, Nerlens, Serge; any big man who could help on the glass. I even
heard some dummies whine about us letting the Wizards obtain Brandon Jennings.
Oh, you mean the guy who just got sent to China? We should’ve signed him to a
guard-heavy team? Are you mental? Get the net.
Oh
yea, Danny is also a Bishop at his church, which is basically like a nominated volunteer High Priest/President/PR guy for the church/friend to everyone. He just does it
all; helps communities, wins championships, breaks records, raises families, you know, kissing babies and what not. He's you're all-American man.
So
I’m bummed that the hate for Danny may have affected his son’s campaign. It’s a
damn shame. Tanner seemed to have a decent platform of “innovation, and fiscal
responsibility,” which sounds a lot like his father’s ideals, and if he’s anything
like his father, then Tanner Ainge could’ve been a good guy for the job.
But regardless, can this Danny Ainge hate stop already!? He’s a saint, and was always really fun to watch and root for. I guess if I wasn’t a Boston Celtics fan though, I’d have a lot of fun hating him too.
