How Gerald Wallace won every Boston sporting event for us over Columbus Day Weekend

So there I was- October of 2004. The city of Boston was on fire. Years of having never stopped believing was finally paying off as the Red Sox found themselves back in the ALCS against the New York Yankees. Down 0-3 in the series, the Red Sox won 4 games in a row – each in Hollywood comeback fashion- to advance to the World Series.

People say that on October 27th, 2004 “The Curse” was lifted. Not me. “The Curse” wasn’t lifted… it was shifted. To me. The better the Red Sox did throughout the playoffs the worse my personal life got.

The Red Sox won the Divisional Championship series; I had a death in the family.

The Red Sox won the American Championship series; I got dumped by my girlfriend and my dog died.

The Red Sox won the first three games of the World Series; I got laid off from my job. They were sweet about it, though- they didn’t want to do it on my birthday… so they did it the day before.

Sure, Sox Fever was sweeping over the city like a molasses flood through the North End, and your boy was caught in the undertow drowning in a boiling sea of sticky, sweet certain death.

So… I found myself sitting in my living room wondering which Smiths album I wanted to listen to as I picked apart every mistake I ever made when my roommate asked me to take a drive. Expecting to be thrown from the car, he laid out the most logical explanation for why my life had turned to crap. The baseball Gods had chosen the Red Sox to win the World Series and needed someone to hold the curse for them- this guy.

On my 23rd birthday, sitting alone in my basement, I watched the Boston Red Sox win their first World Series in 86 years. I watched every second of post game coverage. I didn’t even mind when Jimmy Fallon rushed the field. The curse had been lifted and I didn’t even have to get up for work the next morning.

Fast forward 9 years to Columbus Day Weekend 2013. In star aligning fashion all five New England sports teams won in dramatic fashion. The Revolution rallied around injured teammate Saer Sene to beat the Montreal Impact. The Celtics, after a full week of being called terrible, squashed the Knicks 111-81. The Bruins, after being shut out until late into the second period, beat the Columbus Blue Jackets. With seconds left in the game, Tom Brady lifted the Patriots over the unbeaten New Orleans Saints. Unicorns! Show Ponies! Where’s the Beef?! And to cap it all off, after being nearly no-hit, the Red Sox tied up the ALCS in a storybook victory over Detroit.

So you’re probably asking yourself, “Padraic… did you get hit by a car or something? Did you identity get stolen this weekend? What terrible thing happened to you over Columbus Day that cleared the way for Boston to dominate professional sports?” Nothing, friend. Because our new Celtic Crash Wallace has apparently picked up the curse along with his #45 jersey.

Gerald Wallace, a self professed Boston sports fan even before he was traded here, got to meet Tom Brady before yesterday's game. Unfortunately for Wallace, he left before the Saints got thunderstuck.

As if that wasn't bad enough, Wallace decided to redeem his fandom by watching the Red Sox last night... until the 7th inning.

Before we go calling for Wallace to be traded, question his dedication to Boston, or burn his jersey in effigy, let's consider the first half of this story. Curses don't get lifted... they get shifted. I for one am grateful Gerald Wallace's missteps lead to two amazing last minute victories last night. I am even more grateful that it didn't take a plane falling on my house or me losing my job to get it done. If you're a believer in curses, then we all owe Gerald Wallace a thank you. As long as he doesn't watch another minute of the Patriots or Red Sox this season, we'll all be celebrating along the parade route twice this season.

Cue the Duckboats.

Follow Padraic O'Connor on Twitter @padraic_oconnor

Source: Greenstreet