Celtics Entrance Music Tournament: First Round results

What started as 16 worthy contenders has been whittled down to 8 by the hard truths of tournament mathematics. After an exciting round of match ups the Conference Title picture is a whole lot clearer. While first round upsets are always fun to see, the heavy favorites weighed in and cleared house. What is abundantly clear is this: Boston loves classic rock in all forms no matter what the context


Hit ‘Em Up – 2Pac def. The Takeover – Jay Z

Someone should tell Jay Z that the only issue with a “Watch The Throne” defense is that your eyes aren’t trained on your competition. Throughout the day, HOVA had a lead on the 2Pac until a fourth quarter surge pushed Hit ‘Em Up past The Takeover. Despite Jay having the rap game in a chokehold for the better part of the last 15 years, his bravado didn’t fly in the city of Boston- a place that plays home to a decidedly pro-2Pac but anti-LA fan base.

Protect Ya Neck – Wu-Tang Clan def. Ante Up – M.O.P.

Despite a valiant effort by the self proclaimed “First Obama”, M.O.P. was laid to rest by a RZA led swarm of Killah Beez. As we’ve been warned many a time, The Wu-Tang Clan ain’t nothing to F With.


Dream On – Aerosmith def. Do or Die – Dropkick Murphys

The crowd has spoken and spoken loudly; unless we’re Shipping up to Boston, we are not interested in the Dropkick Murphys. Maybe that’s a little harsh given that their competition in the first round was the original Bad Boys of Boston, Aerosmith. Classic Rock proved to be the strongest performers throughout the conference, which should lead to some interesting second round match ups.

Thunderstruck – AC/DC def. Air ‘Em Out – Czarface

By the widest margin of victory in the opening round, Thunderstruck won and won BIG. AC/DC mopped the floor with Boston-Cambridge underground hip-hop sensation Czarface. Despite having, in this bloggers opinion, the best beat in the entire tournament, Air ‘Em Out never stood a chance. It wasn’t close for a minute. I honestly feel bad. Afterall, I put this tournament together. I made the match ups. I feel like I owe 7L, Esoteric, and Inspectah Deck an apology.


Baba O’Riley – The Who def. Ditty – Paperboy

My condolences to the staff of CelticsLife as their handpicked opponent for Baba O’Riley was laid to waste and left for dead by The Who. Despite posting a respectable 31 votes good for 35% of the vote, this was not nearly enough to get the job done against one of the strongest opening riffs in rock history. Best of luck in your future endeavors, Paperboy. Your legacy will live on in our hearts and memories of mix tapes from college.

Crazy Train – Ozzy Osbourne def. Roundball Rock – NBA on NBC theme

As a child, there was nothing better than parking myself on the couch all day on Sunday and watching The NBA on NBC. A superstar on every team and a slate of great match ups every week. I loved it so much that I put the network music to the show on this bracket only to watch my beloved Roundball Rock get rolled up and smoked like a Camel Light by Ozzy Osbourne’s Crazy Train. My bracketology sucks, you guys. I did my favorites no favors whatsoever.


Bonfire – Childish Gambino def. Ima Boss – Meek Mill

Finally! Something I voted for WON a match up as Childish Gambino sneaks past Meek Mill to a second round match up. In possibly the fairest contest of the entire opening round, Donald Glover squeaked out a win by ONE VOTE. This leads me to one conclusion – Boston loves the show Community.

Forever – Drake def. Black Skinhead – Kanye West

In a surprising turn of events, a Canadian born teen actor turned rapper who loves the Miami Heat was able to defeat Kanye West. While this may be good for the Celtics Hype Music Tournament, I feel like its bad for the Celtics. Why? Because we obviously don’t like anyone who is dating Kim Kardashian. Let’s hope this KK hate doesn’t transfer over to the new #43 because by the looks of it he’s our starting center on opening night and he needs all the love he can get.

Be sure to check back with CelticsLife tomorrow as the Conference Championships polls will be open. Don't forget to vote!

Follow Padraic O'Connor on Twitter at @padraic_oconnor