Bill Simmons thinks Ainge should trade Rondo, Ray and KG

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I grew a mustache once!
Famous sportswriter and Boston Celtics fan Bill Simmons writes a piece today that is a recap of an imaginary anniversary for Danny Ainge's last good move. He basically just tears apart Ainge as a GM. At one point Simmons has an imaginary Sam Presti step to the imaginary podium and give a hypothetical plan for what Ainge should do with the team at the trade deadline this year. Of course this is actually what Simmons thinks Danny should do.

After the jump, you'll find the quote from the column. If you don't feel like reading all of that this is it in a nut shell.  You should read the actual column here though, he has footnotes that go into more detail on these deals.

  • Trade KG to the Mavericks for Shawn Marion and Lamar Odom.
  • Trade Rondo and Jermaine O'Neal to the Lakers for Pau Gasol
  • Trade Ray Allen to the Clippers for Mo Williams and Eric Bledsoe, or Mo Williams and a 1st rounder
  • Gasol, Brandon Bass, Marion, Pierce and Mo Williams as starters, with Odom, Wilcox, Pietrus and Bradley as the first four subs

So what do you think?

"If you want to improve this year's team, turn your expiring contracts — KG, Ray, Chris, Keyon and Jermaine — into better players and don't worry about cap space. For instance, let's say you offered KG's expiring contract to Dallas for Shawn Marion and Lamar Odom3 — Cuban might jump at that because he's desperately trying to clear money for Dwight and Deron this summer. He needs to dump Marion's deal to do it. That's why you see him on Twitter pimping Marion to boost his trade value — it's comical. Turn KG into Odom and Marion and you're better right away — Marion is still one of the league's best defensive players. Plus, you'd save about $4 million in tax money."

[Cut to Grousbeck, Pallotta and Pagliuca happily nudging each other.]

Presti: "Next up, Rondo — I know he's fun to watch, but you can't build around someone that moody and unreliable, especially when any smart defense plays six feet off him in close games. That's why I shot down your 197 different Westbrook/Rondo offers, buddy. But the Lakers are panicking — they know Gasol is checking out, they desperately need a point guard and they can't afford to keep him AND Kobe on their cap. You have them by the balls here. I don't care if Gasol is 31 — he's the most skilled big man in the league, he has four or five quality years left, he's under contract through 2014 (same as Pierce), he'll be extra motivated after the trade, and maybe he'd rejuvenate Odom since they played so well together once upon a time. He'd be the best low-post guy you've had since Kevin McHale — "

Presti: "Anyway, offer them Rondo and Jermaine O'Neal's expiring for Gasol, a deal which saves them $24 million in tax money these next three years.4 I can't imagine them turning it down. You'd need a point guard, too, so offer Ray to the Clippers for Mo Williams and Eric Bledsoe. They desperately need a two-guard; they might be dumb enough to say yes.5 If they turn it down, settle on Mo and a future first for Ray, if only because it's always good to own two first-rounders from the league's most jinxed franchise. Mo's contract expires next year, and you can always re-sign Ray this summer."

[Cut to Danny frantically trying to write all of this down on a cocktail napkin.]

Presti: "Look at your new team — Gasol, Brandon Bass, Marion, Pierce and Mo Williams as starters, with Odom, Wilcox, Pietrus and Bradley as your first four subs. If Gasol and Odom get going, that's a dangerous 6-seed in the East, right?"