It's time to get serious about Jaylen Brown's nickname

The hustle of CSNNE’s Kyle Draper has been off the charts recently. Since the TV host anointed Celtics rookie Jaylen Brown with the nickname ‘The Poet’ on air, he has been relentlessly pushing the moniker on his Twitter account, despite a unanimously negative reaction:




It's incredibly early in the 20-year-old's career and many would argue that he is still a long way from earning himself a nickname. Although when TV personalities are already putting the wheels in motion, it may be difficult to prevent one from sticking.

'The Poet' would not be the worst nickname in basketball history; the Golden State Warriors fans used to call Corey Magette 'Bad Porn' due to his effective penetration that helped the team whilst boring to watch. However, the notion of calling Brown 'The Poet' simply because he likes to read paints a grim picture of the intellectual capabilities of professional athletes. We must, as a basketball community, think of something better.

'The Juice'

When speaking to CSNNE's Abby Chin, Brown rejected Draper's attempt and revealed that he was called 'The Juice' in high school. If you're not aware of why 'The Juice' may create bad karma for the former University of California standout, I would suggest that you read into the post-career activity of Orenthal James Simpson, who answered to 'The Juice' throughout his NFL career.

 'The Contender'

Coming up with a nickname so early in a player's career means that you may have to delve into their background to source some inspiration. People have lauded Brown's impressive NBA-ready toughness and fearlessness, which is not surprising when you consider that his father is 7-foot professional boxer, Marselles Brown.

A photo posted by Marselles Brown (@m.brownzilla) on


In boxing, competitors that are in the running to win are known as contenders. Recently, Jaylen matched up against LeBron James in his first NBA start and picked up 19 points, 5 rebounds and 3 steals; it's clear that he won't back down from the biggest and best in the league. Given time to develop, he may even help turn the Celtics into perennial title contenders.

Other boxing related suggestions are welcome. 'Slugger'?

'Nano'

Standing at 6’7, Brown clearly isn’t a small guy. His physique is much more developed than most players his age and he’s already able to bully his way to the rim.

‘Nano’ is an ironic reference to the forward’s build, compared to that of his 48-year-old father. It’s rare that an athlete as big and powerful as Brown is not the largest guy in his family, so why not turn that quirk into a playful, albeit loose nickname?

Ok, it’s terrible, I just like the word.

'The Knight'

It's been well documented that Brown was captain of his high school chess team, which is definitely a unique string to his bow.

In chess, the knight can jump over all other pieces of either color to its destination square. Throughout Brown's career, he will surely make plays that involve him jumping over defenders to his destination - the rack.


In complete fairness to Draper, producing a nickname for Brown isn't easy and takes some creativity. Like many NBA players before him, Brown may need to go through the first few years of his career without an alias, until something happens that makes the decision for us. The nickname ideas above may not even be slightly popular, but 'The Poet' could still happen and we need to at least try to stop it.




Follow Josh Coyne on Twitter at @poundcoyne

Image Credit:
Brett Le Blanc/Las Vegas Review-Journal
Bryan Quick/ SF Gate
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