Afternoon Delight: Ainge rips Stevens after win over the Jazz

Many Celtics fans were rejoicing over the Celtics first win of the young season last night, but not everyone was happy. Celtics Life investigative reporter Rondo Burgundy is reporting that Danny Ainge lit into Coach Brad Stevens in the Celtics locker room after the rookie NBA coach's first win.

Here is a transcript of the exchange:
Stevens: Excited to get our first one under the belt.

Ainge: Are you a moron? Why would you do such a thing?

Stevens: Excuse me? I'm not following.

Ainge: We're losing to the Jazz, one our biggest competitors this year, by double digits and you let them lose?! What are you doing starting Jordan Crawford?

Stevens: You told me he was a key to tanking.

Ainge: Yes, but that was before I saw what Avery Bradley was capable of when running this offense.

Stevens: Bradley threatened to block me on Twitter if I didn't play him at the 2.

Ainge: And you fell for that? You know how many players have blocked me on Twitter?! I recall 5 during the 2006/2007 season and barely anyone was on Twitter at that time. Maria Menounos blocked me just yesterday and you don't see me crying about it.

Stevens: I'm sorry Danny. I'll move Bradley back to the point.
I get scoops

Ainge: Can't now. That prick reporter Michael Dyer already exposed my plan and now you've proven him right tonight.

Stevens: But I'm sitting out Jeff Green in the 4th quarter like you asked?

Ainge: This is true, but you need to step up your tanking game. The Jazz are starting corpses like Richard Jefferson and Jamal Tinsley. You can't keep starting all NBA caliber players. Why do you think I hired Walter?

Stevens: I thought it was because he was a good coach.

Ainge: Well he might be, but he's 100% down to suit up right now.

Stevens: Ok let's activate him.

Ainge: And?

Stevens: And start him?

Ainge: Now you're starting to get it.

Stevens: So let me get this straight, the goal is to lose every game?

Ainge: No that's too obvious. Win some, but never beat our biggest competitors. More wins against Philly, Phoenix, Orlando, and Utah will give me ulcers. Just treat it like the Price Is Right. Instead of bidding one dollar over the last person's bid, try and score one point less than the other team. That will give us the best chance to see Wiggins walk up to Bob Barker wearing a Celtics hat in June.
Who's Bob Barker? 

Stevens: Bob Barker doesn't host the Price Is Right anymore.

Ainge: I meant Stern.

Stevens: Stern won't be commissioner next June.

Ainge: I'm about to lose it. Let me worry about who hosts the frickin' Price Is Right and the draft and you just worry about losing games, before I fire you and hire Del Negro and make my life a lot easier this season.

Stevens: Ok ok. Walter McCarty will start next game. Should we bring back Antoine?

Ainge: There's hope for you.

About Afternoon Delight: From time to time, posts an original (most of the time), humorous creation for your delight. View past Afternoon Delight postings.