The future is now: the NBA draft lottery machine is here!




Maybe you've been distracted by silly things like the Celtics' win-loss record, and how they're not actually that far out of what one might charitably call the "Eastern Conference playoff race." I love this rag-tag, hard-working bunch, too, but we're 18-30. Please, for your own sanity, don't get too caught up in the pipe dream of our chances this season; instead, let's indulge in an entirely different fantasy: the ESPN Draft Lottery Machine!

Every year, ESPN throws out this neat little simulator that forecasts all sorts of scenarios laying out the order in which participating teams could select, and who they might pick. At the moment, the Celtics have a 1.7% chance of snagging the first pick in the draft. That may not sound like a lot at first, but rest easy, everyone. There's still a shot of good things to come.

Oh Chris, you saucy minx. I see what you did there. And while the idea of spending a season listening to Tommy Heinsohn trying to figure out how to pronounce Oubre (best guess on his approach: rhymes with goober) is equally delightful and horrifying, I seriously doubt that's going to happen. Let's play the lottery a little here and see if we can get a result that seems more likely.




What is....wait. How could we have....

*remembers*

Oh no. OH GOD IT'S HAPPENING AG-




PLEASE NO. PLEASE STOP, NBA LOTTERY MACHINE. I BEG OF YOU. I DON'T WANT TO SEE ANY MORE.



Alright then! Everyone get excited for the future!

Follow Kenneth Gagnon on Twitter.



Photos courtesy of http://boston.sportsthenandnow.com/; Nick Laham/Getty Images North America; the Associated Press; and USA Today.
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