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Or is it you, Lucky?
Hi. What's up? Excited about the trade rumors and anxious to know what will happen to the Celtics? Yeah, me too. I have some bad news, though. The universe has a big prank planned for us. This whole season has been marked by the universe's decision to become the ultimate prankster on Celtics fans, and I don't know when and in what shape the final prank will come, but yeah, hold on tight. Let's have a look, shall we?

When Rondo got his season injury, we all thought that would be the final nail in the coffin in an already tumultuous season, right? Guess what: We've been 8-1 since then, and the one loss came at the buzzer on an away segababa that succeded a triple OT game, so yeah, we weren't winning that game any way. Punk'd.

Oh, and let's talk about Sullinger's injury while we're at it. The only reason we were able to draft Sully was the red flag about his back. The bulging dicks, remember? Yeah, you do now. But we had forgotten all about it, were enjoying Sully's success, and then boom. Punk'd.

Oh, but we were still winning! So naturally Barbosa got injured. Yes, it was season ending. Yes, it was a torn ACL. Again. Punk'd.

And you know what? These last couple of seasons, we were worried that the injury bug would hit Paul Pierce and Kevin Garnett or any other elderly personnel. Who got the season-ending injuries? Green (25), Chris Wilcox (29), Avery Bradley (21), Rajon Rondo (26), Jared Sullinger (20) and Leandro Barbosa (30). Only one of them is 30+ years old. In our face. Punk'd.

Speaking of elderly players, remember Judas Shuttlesworth? Remember how torn we were when he decided to join our rivals? Yet then we've found the almost perfect replacement for him in Jason Terry and Courtney Lee. We were happy again. The season started, and both players looked lost, whereas Ray Ray was playing great basketball with that disgusting jersey on. We were sad again. Then Terry and Lee started playing great basketball, and we haven't heard Allen's name since then. Who knows what's next? One thing is sure though: We were punk'd.

Terry and Lee weren't the only players that gave inconsistent performance this year. Jeff Green has definitely pranked us multiple times as well: He plays great in the preseason, and we're all like "YEAH JAMES WORTHY IS COMING!" Then he fails to produce in the regular season and people are like "TRADE HIS BUNS AWAY HE"S TERRIBLE OH MY GOD!" 2013, however, has become the year he was reborn and now we're like "OH MY GOD DANNY WHY WOULD YOU TRADE GREEN?!". Talk about being punk'd.

Speaking of Terry and Green, remember the time when we couldn't decide who would become the 6th man and whether they would get enough minutes? They will have all the minutes they want now with a rotation thinner than a, err, no I'm sure that's the thinnest thing that exists in the universe. Punk'd again.

Oh, and the rotation: Remember how we complained that there was too much clogging in the backcourt? How does that clog look now? Punk'd. And yeah, let's not forget that on paper, the deppest position on the team is the frontcourt (at least on paper), the one, you know, we have always complained about. Definitely punk'd.

Are you still not convinced? Let's break down the wins and losses of this Celtics' season: From December 14th till New Years', we won only 2 of 10 games played with a 4-game losing streak at hand. How did we get out of that depression that seemed like would last forever? A 6-game winning streak! Time to party, we're coming at you! Oops, not so fast, because there lies a 6-game losing streak again. And the injuries. Holy shit, we're doomed, Danny go blow up the team and wait, yay! 8 wins in 9 games! Punk'd, punk'd, and punk'd.

Let's not forget the Lakers: Yes, just to prank us, the universe has decided to mess with our rivals as well. What happened to them would require another post in its entirety, but it is clear that we were punk'd on that front too.

It's what it is: The universe is going to keep screwing with us this season. Danny doesn't make a big trade? Oh well, 4 more players will get injured. Danny makes a move? Rondo will start playing come mid-March making him look stupid. We will barely make the playoffs and then become the Champions, or we will win the division and get a first round exit. I don't know. Anything can happen.

One thing is clear: The universe has vowed to make this the most exciting and maddening Celtics' season in a long time. Never relax. Never quit. Anything is truly possible.

semioticus (shelbyl) 2/19/2013 01:10:00 PM Edit
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