Here's a suggestion: STFU

As many people around here know, I watch NBA basketball.  A LOT of NBA basketball.  I've been doing this for a long time.  Baseball was too boring; too slow paced, too many foul balls, too many out of shape "athletes" (see Kruk, John).  Football was too barbaric; still don't know how many players are on a field at once, you only play one side (offense or defense) and their helmets make them practically invisible.  Hockey was flat-out unwatchable.

Over the years and countless NBA games I've watched, there has been one thing recently that I do that makes the games incredibly more enjoyable.  It's not listening to ANYTHING any of the pundits have to say.  This includes, but is not limited to: Jeff Van Gundy, Jon Barry, Mark Jackson, Stuart Scott, Charles Barkley, Kenny Smith, Ernie Johnson, Marv Albert, Kevin Harlan, Matt Winer, Dick Stockton, Dick Versace, Reggie Miller, Rick Kamla, Brent Barry, Dennis Scott, Chris Webber, Kevin McHale, Mike Fratello, Steve Smith and especially Rick Fox.  It doesn't matter if it's NBA TV, TNT, ESPN, or ABC.  I don't care if it's another team's local announcers (Michael Smith, Norm Nixon) either.  Basically, they don't know any more than me or you know and there's no reason to listen to their opinion on something.

My favorite button is green, like my basketball team

There are a few exceptions to this rule.  Mike and Tommy, including Mike's pregame interview with Doc and Jim Spanarkel on YES.  Mike and Tommy because I'm a Celtics fan; Spanarkel, because he's absolutely hysterical.

I don't listen to Sports Radio or watch pre-game shows or halftime shows.  My DVR is my best friend and I relish any and all opportunities to fast forward through their bullshit shenanigans.  I have a science down where I generally will start watching the game 45-60 minutes after tip-off.  This allows me to fast forward through all commercials and all their crap and by the end, I'm about up to live time.  It's amazing.

Who really cares what they have to say?  What a ridiculous job to look into sporting events and think you know any more about the game than me.  (Especially the sports radio clowns, taking weekday calls from the hundreds of thousands of unemployed to hear guys like Joe Benigno or Steve Somers give their opinions; in the words of ODB...)   I give former players or coaches the benefit of the doubt.  But people like Peter Vescey?  Or David Aldridge?  Or Mike Wilbon?  STFU.  Your opinion on said topics are worthless.  I'll watch the game and see the outcome develop instead of get your "insight" into the event.

So my advice for anyone out there who wants to make their NBA-watching experience more enjoyable: get a DVR and acclimate yourself with the fast forward button.  And remember, they don't know any more than you.

tb727 2/02/2011 11:31:00 AM Edit
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9 Responses so far.

  1. Anonymous says:

    hand down, man down

  2. .chuckT. says:

    hahaha! wow this is great. tb, this sounds like a commercial! a video of this wouldve made it much more enjoyable, but still funny either way! :D

  3. Karl says:

    Thank you for writing again. You are my basketball knowledge idol. I couldn't live without DVR.

  4. The Coach says:

    I love DVR'ing the games as flying through the commercials is amazing for both my sanity and the game flow. But I have to say some of the guys you listed as people you don't want to listen to are doing either a good job or entertain me to the point where I enjoy them from time to time. I have the same feeling you do in terms of my own confidence in knowing the game and not needing much assistance, but what I get from Mark Jackson and Van Gundy together in terms of them drawing on their experiences in the league you really can't get anywhere else. Hubie Brown is someone I try to watch as often as possible because I always learn something. He is also the greatest in person basketball person I have ever as I have seen him on three different occasions at coaches clinics and it is the best hour of basketball education you could ever imagine.

    I despise most basketball writers and had grown tired of Peter Vescey until I met him last spring and it was one of the best basketball conversations I had ever had. He spent 2 weeks with the 1986 Celtics on one of their west coast trips, what he shared was incredible. Vescey also coached at Rucker Park during the 1970's and coached some serious players so he gets his own category as basketball journalist as far as I am concerned.

  5. Don Shane says:

    Ditto on Hubie Brown... always learn something when he does a game.

    Mike Breen, Mark Jackson... I get dumber. And angry.

  6. Anonymous says:

    games rarely get shown here in the uk. Even if they do you have to pay extra for ESPN on top of other sports channels :(

  7. tb727 says:

    Yeah it was more of a generalization but I intentionally left Hubie Brown and Doug Collins off that list, if you noticed. Both of them know a lot of stuff. I prefer Collins because Hubie sounds robotic sometime. But I'd bet the most intelligent basketball conversation ever was the last time Hubie Brown ate dinner by himself lol

  8. RoswellSounds says:

    Amen tb... Always start t watch the game one or two hours after the jump. I totally despise sports broadcasters, specially those who work for ESP-fucking-N. There is no reason to waste time listening to their lobby bullshit (Mark Jackson to the hall of fame? You freakin´kidding me?!?! Retarded!)

    I would love to hear only the sounds of the game, you know, shoes, the rim, ball, wood, elbows, screams... Keep it honest, keep it real.

  9. tb727 says:

    Thanks Roswell. Yeah that discussion on promoting Jackson for the Hall of Game was RIDICULOUS. Guy won't come close to it.

    A few years back they played a game on NBA TV with just the sounds from the game, no announcers. It was terrific. All you heard was the sneakers and the refs blowing the whistle. I really feel in 2011 you should have the option of watching it in that mode. I mean really who needs somebody else's opinion of the game?

    If you have League Pass I do suggest listening to Jim Spanarkel announce a Nets game because he really is funny and his sense of humor is so bizarre- I laugh a lot.

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