This whole Lebron James free agency story has become a circus. I remember when Shaq was a free agent back in the 90's and a decade ago when the big 3 free agents were Tim Duncan, Grant Hill, and T-Mac. All of their free agencies combined didn't cause as much craziness as LeDiva James and his "team." His team for the uninformed are his childhood friends who have been causing havoc in Cleveland since Lebron got there. The leader is Maverick Carter. Besides his "team" there's also William "Worldwide" Wesley (You must have a nickname to associate with the King with no ring). The two of them are fighting over who will be Lebron's future BFF. Those are the leaders, but there's so many in Lebron's entourage who can count. Basically Lebron gets them any fake job they so desire.

Unlike past free agents who were simply players, Lebron wants more power in his new location than he even had in Cleveland (where the owner essentially let Lebron play GM, but Lebron was still not satisfied). Lebron's people have been telling teams what coaches to hire and what players to get. The best story was Maverick Carter telling the Clippers that Lebron would go there in a package deal with a new owner. So in order to sign Lebron you might have to also give up your team right?

Well CelticsLife through some sleuth investigating has uncovered 10 more demands that Lebron and his team have for any team interested in signing him.
  1. Team's arena name must be changed to the "King James Center" prior to any sit down to discuss said team's interest in Lebron (Supposedly if Lebron doesn't choose that team, they may change their arena name back to its original name, but this hasn't been confirmed).
  2.  New team must change a nearby town's name to Akron, so Lebron doesn't lose credibility for leaving his home.
  3. Team's head coach will be listed as "Associate Head Coach."
  4. A significant portion of remaining cap room must be spent on Larry Hughes and Donyell Marshall.
  5. Teammates must sign contracts agreeing not to have sex with Lebron's mother.
  6. Team uniform colors should include the color "Le-Bron" (said in a more French way).
  7. If Lebron continues to come up short in the playoffs he will still be owed a championship ring each June. All of Lebron's entourage will also get rings unless they don't have good enough nicknames or they know about a teammate getting with Lebron's mom and say nothing.
  8. Lebron will be the only player introduced during home game introductions.
  9. Ball boys will make no attempts to have Lebron's warm-ups handed to them when he reenters a game. Ball boys will lie on the court and wait for Lebron to throw said warm-ups either in their face or in the complete opposite direction.
  10. (Lebron and his "team" get to choose #10. We'll let you know what they pick. Hopefully it doesn't require celticslife.com changing its name to lebronlife.com.)

JR 6/30/2010 11:52:00 PM Edit
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3 Responses so far.

  1. Unknown says:

    lmfao....awesome this is hilarious

  2. this here is crazy ;)

  3. RoswellSounds says:

    I better kick LeBrown´s ugly momma outta my crib before those niggas attempt a life-threathening drive-by! Oh, wait... Now they´re calling Gilbert Arenas! Got to run for my life...

    I always knew that the adulterous relation with Ms. James could get me in trouble, but this is getting Holywoodesque! Please don´t bring Chris Rock into the mix. I wouldn´t mind Chris Tucker, but only if he comes with a bag of weed (now I want to hear Brian & Stewie of "Family Guy" singing their weed song...)

    And LJ will NEVER win a ring...

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