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Instead of rubbing salt in the wound to the seemingly nice people in Salt Lake City, this was more than a tough blow for them, I decided that it was much more important to burn our friends other NBA fans down in Miami. Leading up to Gordon Hayward's decision to join the Celtics yesterday the Miami Heat fans were insufferable, per usual. They trolled Gordon's wife Robyn's instagram and they spouted their nonsense all over Twitter about being the front-runners after they were the first team to meet with him:



I grew just a little bit concerned when the Hayward-decision coverage yesterday jumped the shark. Not because I ever thought he was going to Miami (I never for a second thought that through this whole process), but because we would be crushed for our premature celebration for eternity by fans around the NBA. It would have been an easy way for delusional Heat fans to overcome missing out on a potential star addition by turning their attention to laughing at us. Of course, that was not the case. We won the day, and now we're gonna burn those Miami fans because it's the right thing to do. Without further ado:



Top Three


Real talk, the only reason the Celtics made it to the ECF was because they didn't meet us in the 1st round and everyone knows that.

Fuck that fake ass Larry Bird wannabe

He sat in his large dark office. The news of Hayward's free agency decision had finally reached him. He clenched his fist. On his mahogony desk, next to the document entitled "Plan B", the light from his 7 championship rings shone through the darkness. As he brought the phone up to his ear, a moment of hesistation entered his body. His fingered slowly dialed the numbers. The phone rang at the other end.
One ring...
two rings...
three rings...
"Hello, this is Jimmer" "Hey, It's Pat"


The Inevitable Racial Comments



The Celtics finally get their poster white boy, we can go on with life, Sign the boys Dion and JJ, Fuck Hayward and his drama and fuck the Celtics.

They still need to get Kevin Love, for them traditional family valued Boston (aka white) folks, lol.

i need to live amongst the whites. Boston was close enough.



We Didn't Want Him Anyway!


Boston is seriously gonna treat this guy like a god. I'm glad we didn't get him. Sorry, but Gordon Hayward wasn't worth all this.

Couldn't hit a game winner in college, didn't have the guts in the NBA

HAYWARD IS NOT WORTH ... HAPPY WITH JJ AND DION

hopefully some of you hoppers can understand why we dodged a bullet

BIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIG Gordon Hayward, whats he ever done?

I may be one of the few here, but I'm happy he's not coming. I don't think he's a real whale, and I feel like it was too much money and would have potentially handcuffed us

Have fun rotting away in Boston. Know one will remember him in 15 years

Hayward didn't have the guts.

Never saw him signing here, he's not a miami type of a guy.



The Rest



I don't know what happened, I had such a good feeling. I felt so confident. Not sure why, I just did.

Sign everyone back. Run over the east. Kill the Cavs in the ECF. Sounds good?

Once again Pat Riley comes up empty. Oh, sorry big bucks to that great point guard Tyler Johnson. The second half of last season was a fluke. So another mediocre pro team in Miami. Pat retire to LA!

We some salty ass motherfucks 😂😂😂






Photo credit - @woodymlb4/@boston1812

Follow Mark on Twitter: @MarkAL401

Mark Allison 7/05/2017 11:59:00 AM Edit
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