Brace Yourself, It's Coming

I really dislike all 3 of these guys

In 2 weeks from right now, the LA Lakers are winning the NBA draft lottery.  No need to argue or fuss, it's a done deal and it's happening.  They will have the #1 pick in the draft this year where the likes of Jabari Parker, Joel Embiid and Andrew Wiggins wait in the wings.  Can you see the Sports Illustrated NBA Preview Issue next year?  I can.  It'll show Bean Bryant with #1 OVERALL PICK and will say something corny like "Something Old, Something New: The Lakers Are Back And Primed To Make A Run."

I've just come to accept it that this is how the NBA works ever since Len Bias died.  Sure there was the anomaly in 2008 where the Celtics won.  And yes I was certainly thrilled they did; 1 title in 28 years is definitely better than zero.  But all the other stuff begins to creep back into memory.  The catastrophe of 1987.  Starting 29-5 to begin the '91 season and who winds up making the Finals?  They signed Shaq in '96 while the Celtics signed the Evil Emperor in '97.  Celts had the best chance to get the #1 pick and Tim Duncan in 97 too, and we know how that ended up.  LAL trades their starting center for the pick that became Bean while the Celtics traded theirs for the pick that became Ron Mercer.  They won 3 titles to start last decade while the Buffoon was busy passing up Tony Parker for Joe Forte and moving Chauncey Billups and Joe Johnson before giving them a chance.  On and on it goes.

Then, right when the Celtics got real good and acquired Garnett and Allen, and I mean way better than the Enemy, our old Buffoon friend gift-wraps Pau Gasol to them, making our lives harder.  Then 2010 happens.  Does anyone need a reminder on that?

In fact outside of 2008 every single thing since Bias dying that could've gone right between LA and Boston  has gone their way.  So why would this year's draft be any different?  It won't and I've accepted it.


The Flakers are pretty maxed with their salary cap so nothing better than getting a rookie phenom who is locked into the set pay scale.  Gasol will resign too to give them the inside presence they need.  It'll be the most inviting job for their new coach, whatever high-caliber name they lure onto the sidelines.  The league will be licking their chops hoping for a Miami-LA Final next year.  Ratings would be an all-time high.  Imagine LeBron and company going for their 4th in a row (something Jordan never accomplished) vs Bean looking for his 6th all-time, to tie MJ?  The possibilities are endless and Adam Silver is breathless with anticipation.

Then there will be the annoying interview with James "Big Game" Worthy after they win top pick; Worthy is representing them at the lottery.  He'll mention something he did that day that was lucky.  And I'll be wishing the interviewer asked him about this incident instead.

I guess we can hope they somehow blow the pick.  Maybe they'll pick a Bowie over Jordan or an Oden over Durant.  Maybe the Celtics will somehow still get the best player.  Sure it could happen.


But in reality it'll look a hell of a lot like this:


This Celtics' fan fully expects these to be the lottery results


All I can say to Celtics fans is to brace yourself, because it's coming.