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The New Orleans Pelicans have themselves a bit of a PR issue. Along with renaming the team, introducing new colors, new jerseys, this past summer they also introduced a new mascot.

The role of the mascot varies - in the Celtics case it's to have a gentleman dress up as leprechaun who acts remarkably impressed with his own trampoline dunking abilities - but there's an understanding that generally they're there as an alternate entertainment factor for children. The problem for New Orleans? Their mascot Pierre, was.... well....


FREAKING TERRIFYING

And to be clear, not just terrifying to children. For everybody. I mean, let's be honest - either you're sitting there, finding yourself feeling physically uncomfortable or you've purposely scrolled down far enough where the above image is juuuust off your screen. And even though it's off your screen now, it's still kind of burning in your memory, causing you to stir, isn't it?

Well, fortunately, New Orleans management has decided that having a mascot that seems to have been created by someone watching 'Eyes Wide Shut' on LSD isn't an awesome idea, and have decied to rebrand.

But obviously New Orleans couldn't just introduce a new Pelican. I mean, where's the storyline continuity there? So why will Pierre look different?

From NBA.com

NEW ORLEANS – The New Orleans Pelicans announced today that mascot Pierre the Pelican underwent successful surgery yesterday at Ochsner Medical Center in Jefferson. A detailed account of his injury and recovery will air during the Fox Sports New Orleans broadcast on Wednesday, Feb. 12 when the Pelicans take on the Milwaukee Bucks at 7:00 p.m

Ah, of course! What better way to get the kidz excited for a new mascot then suggesting that the horrific monster featured above suffered head trauma so significant that he required a serious, day long procedure to allow him to keep some semblance of a face?!?!

C'mon, New Orleans. Kids have the internet today. If they were afraid of this blood thirsty, dead eyed monster before, what kind of nightmares are they going to have now, knowing that he's just sitting there. In his hospital room. Stewing. Thinking about the events that led to his accident, and subsequent disfiguration. Unable to distract himself from thoughts of revenge. Unable to get his mind away from it's darkest corners. Unable to escape the sickest of thoughts. Nothing to do but sit and plot until his eventual release... This Wednesday before the Pelicans take on the Milwaukee Bucks!!! Get your tickets now while you still can!!!

.... or else.

Matt Richissin 2/11/2014 09:59:00 PM Edit
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