They worshipped, so they said, the Great Old Ones who lived ages before there were any men, and who came to the young world out of the sky. Those Old Ones were gone now, inside the earth and under the sea; but their dead bodies had told their secrets in dreams to the first men, who formed a cult which had never died...hidden in distant wastes and dark places all over the world until the time when the great priest Cthulhu, from his dark house in the mighty city of R'lyeh under the waters, should rise and bring the earth again beneath his sway. Some day he would call, when the stars were ready, and the secret cult would always be waiting to liberate him
Lovecraft, "The Call of Cthulhu"
The Boston Celtics legend is real, the Cthulhu has been freed. Tangled under the deep dark waters of forgetfulness, the franchise had struggled to be competitive during more than a decade. The Great Old Ones were gone, the ancient names of Bird, Havliceck, Russell had been buried in the books of History. The team had become a shadow of its former glory and they had been neglected by many. Their followers -once envied by the rest of the world- were quickly labeled as insane or just mentally delusional, deep inside the madness that also reached management and owners. Some other worshipers even keep track of some of the strange individuals that walked over the green lands of New England.
Years later we witnessed that the visions and prophecies that those banished followers were starting to prove themselves true. Under the guidance of guru Rivers (a former doctor in internal chemistry and mental toughness) and the ultimate madman of science Danny Ainge, other Great Ones revamped the image and glory of the legendary franchise. Garnett, Pierce and Allen led the team to another ring and in the process other new Great players were born. The amazingly talented Rondo, the tough center Perkins, the unexpectedly brilliant Davis...soon the team was solidly waking into a new Dynasty.
In the summer of 2010, when the clouds of Time and the cruel designs of the Evil Herr Stern were growing quickly over the future of the team, the last prophecy finally became reality: the Great Old Shaquille O'Neal, also known as the Big Shaqthulhu, was summoned again. The prophecy talks about a an unidentifiable greenish-black stone, that had been captured some months before in the wooded swamps south of New Orleans during a raid on a supposed voodoo meeting.
Born in the land of the swamps (New Jersey) and educated into the glory of basketball in Louisiana State University, it was probably there that legend started to be forged. First it would land in Florida, to later eclipse the sun of California by the New Millennium. He got his glory in the wrong team, as later it was proven when traded back to Florida under the shadow of his biggest enemy: Kobe Bryant. Florida and California, lands surrounded by water, his true element. At some moment the Shaqthulhu got tired, worn and started to drown again into the deep sea from which he had emerged long ago. He was called in the dried lands of Arizona and Ohio, but the beast was not itself out of the waters, it needs the closeness of the ocean to regain full strength.
I know too much, and the cult still lives. Whilst restoring his broken head, Cthulhu was dragged down again with the sinking city, thus keeping humanity safe until the next time, when the stars are right
Considered dead and gone by the end of the 2010 season, it was in the Mediterranean Sea first and later back in the coasts of Florida when Doc Rivers performed the last ritual: he awakened the beast to be a member of the Boston Celtics.
The Thing cannot be described (...) the green, sticky spawn of the stars (...) a monster of vaguely anthropoid outline (...) a scaly, rubbery-looking body, prodigious claws on hind and fore feet, and long, narrow wings behind. This thing, which seemed instinct with a fearsome and unnatural malignancy, was of a somewhat bloated corpulence
The Shaqthulhu has been called and he has answered. Closer to the Atlantic Ocean he has risen and together with some other known Great Ones have linked their history with the glorious past of this franchise, to regain the final glory of a championship for the Boston Celtics.
The Oldest and Greatest Ones are back. And so are the hopes of the followers who now have turned those who claimed to be sane into mere hordes of the foolish and lying kind Bohemian 12/15/2010 06:18:00 AM Tweet